Divorce is a big change for any family. For children, however, it can be especially confusing and distressing. Communication is key in giving your child support that is needed during the transition. I noted a recent article in The Independent that gave some helpful advice in terms of specific, age-appropriate messaging that parents might use:

Preschool (Ages 3-5): Keep It Very Simple

Young children live in the present and may not fully understand the concept of divorce. They need reassurance and stability.

What to Say: Use clear, simple language, such as: “Mommy and Daddy are going to live in different houses, but we both love you very much. That will never change.”
What to Do: Maintain consistent routines and offer extra comfort to ease any anxiety.

Early Primary Years (Ages 6-8): Provide Gentle Honesty

At this stage, children are beginning to recognize and process emotions but may struggle to express their own feelings. They may also worry that they did something wrong.

What to Say: “Mommy and Daddy have decided we can’t live together anymore, but we are still your family, and we will always love you.”
What to Do: Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and provide stability regarding changes in living arrangements or schools.

Late Primary to Early Teens (Ages 9-12): Directly Address Concerns

Older children understand more about relationships and may have deeper fears about how divorce will affect their lives. They may also feel a strong emotional impact.

What to Say: “We’ve tried to make things work, but this will truly be the best way for all of us to be happier.”
What to Do: Encourage open communication and allow them to express their thoughts and feelings.

Teenagers (Ages 13-18): Respect Their Maturity

Teenagers may seem more emotionally resilient but can be even more deeply affected. They may even worry about their own future relationships.

What to Say: “We’ve discussed and came to this decision because we believe it’s best for everyone’s future. We’re still a family, though, and here to support each other.”
What to Do: Maintain a supportive presence, but always be honest. Acknowledge their feelings and concerns and offer reassurance that both parents remain committed to their well-being.

The bottom line is this: with children, always approach the conversation with care and sensitivity. Break the news together, if possible, in an open family discussion. Keep that dialogue open and check in often. Be aware of any changes in behavior and sleep patterns that could indicate a deeper emotional impact.

Divorce is never an easy choice, but if you’ve come to the point where you are considering it, it is helpful to talk to an attorney regarding the divorce process, or scenarios regarding spousal support, child support, custody issues, or even pet custody. Contact us at Williams Family Law for help by phone at 215-340-2207, or email us at info@bucksfamilylawyers.com.