Recently, as I was meeting with a new client, we were discussing her impending divorce from her husband and all of the emotions related to such a decision. Even though she was the one initiating the divorce, she was still having a difficult time accepting that this was the direction her life was taking. When I asked her why, she explained that not only did she feel guilty about initiating the divorce but she explained that she was going to have a hard time saying goodbye to many different things, the house they had lived in since getting married, visits with her husband's extended family, and even family walks on weekend mornings.
As we continued talking about goodbyes, I asked her if she had ever heard the song "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" by Train. For weeks, my kids had been playing it on repeat and just recently I decided to look at the lyrics. Listening closely, you almost cant help but to laugh out loud. In short, a man tells a story about his girlfriend leaving him. However, he decides that he is not going to share the news with his friends. Instead, should they ask about her, he's going to share a variety of explanations, all among the ridiculous, for her recent disappearance. Among these explanations are that she was "eaten by a lion, fried getting suntanned, fell in cement mixer full of quicksand," and my favorite, "run over by a crappy purple Scion."
My client looked at me quizzically and said that she knew of the song but she clearly had no idea why I was asking. I played it for her and pulled up the lyrics on my computer so that she could follow along. About halfway through, she laughed out loud and asked if I would play it again. This time, she listened all the way through and seemed to catch on as to why my mind drifted towards this song as we were talking.
Regardless of why relationships come to an end, as Train so pointedly explains, there is no "perfect" way to say goodbye. The divorce process brings about many emotions that can range from sadness, guilt, or embarrassment to relief or in some cases, even joy. Many times you will experience different emotions throughout different parts of the process. No matter what, the end of any relationship, and the related goodbyes, are almost always difficult.
One thing is for sure though; no matter how difficult a situation our clients find themselves in, as a member of the Williams Family Law team, I know that our family law attorneys care about each and every one of our clients. We are here to support each client from the beginning to end of their divorce and custody matters. Sometimes our clients do cry but oftentimes, we can help them to find peace of mind.
At least "50 Ways to Say Goodbye" doesn't suggest a person getting run over by a reindeer!